Confidence - A Core Discipline Of High Performance
Confidence, it's something I believe we all desire in spades. This topic was inspired by an outstanding session this week on confidence! While the ingredients are unique to every individual, there are overriding components that I'll cover with you today.
There are two main sources for confidence:
From Experience
From Within
As we age and put ourselves in the same river over an over, we gain confidence through competence and a string of wins. However, if we wait for experience to gain all of our confidence, it shackles our ability to grow and chase down new aspirations. The combination of confidence from experience and within will unbridle us to succeed on new levels.
The million dollar question has to be, how do you gain confidence?
Confidence From Within
As stress/tension decrease, power and confidence rise. Confidence from within is directly related to how we show up energetically. There are more tangible influences along with psychological strategies. The battle between our ears!
Core Influencers
Let's start with tangible. When I coach, I'm constantly looking for social, environmental, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual catabolic or negative influencers. One of the biggest killers of confidence in 2022 is media. This world can be a heavy load for anybody to take repeatedly. With the screen time most of us absorb, it doesn't take long for us to create a warped sense of reality depending on our consumption. The media preys on stress, worry, and anxiety. As I get to know my clients, we work on anabolic or positive influences in all of the six core influencers and decreasing the catabolic or negative influences. That combination is a tangible way to increase confidence. There are things we can DO and NOT do that create confidence.
The Three Egos:
This section may surprise you. It certainly surprised me during my time at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.
Ego
When we are energetically resonating with our ego we tend to have a weak personal identity and sense of self worth. We have a need to fill a perceived sense of lack. We tend to be along for the ride with little awareness around how we feel or behave. Faith has left the building as we have little confidence in ourselves. This is where we encounter stress in our lives that leads to conflict and apathy.
Strong Ego
When we have a strong ego we enjoy self esteem and greater self confidence. We feel as though we have what we need and we become far more aware of our tendencies. We have a strong outer faith due to proof. We resonate with more anabolic or positive energy, but often with effort. Here we cooperate, feel grateful, and find peace through reconciliation.
NO Ego
This is where I was surprised. I spent a majority of my life chasing a strong ego. The highest levels of confidence from within originate from having NO ego. You don't need an ego to be confident. If you fail, you learn from the experience. You've accepted yourself unconditionally. The perceived judgment from others is gone. There is a sense of oneness with others and that creates joy and wisdom. A strong inner faith is present. We don't need proof. You make conscious decisions here.
I know what you are thinking, I can't run my business with NO ego all the time. You're right, there is a time and place for every energy level. It's when we learn to "choose" how to show up more often that this philosophy becomes so profound. That's done through self discovery and finding new ways to approach the same circumstances. A way that moves you up the energetic range. Confidence is the natural side effect.
Confidence From Experience
I don't want to diminish the importance of confidence from experience. It's vital to learn the skills and gain competence through repetition. Clearly, gaining confidence from experience and within work hand and hand.
Preparation
This one isn't earth shattering, but it's often the most obvious things that get overlooked. If you have a high level meeting with a new client or new opportunity, do your research on the individual or the opportunity. Visualize how you want to show up and what things you want to touch in the meeting. Ask them to tell you what they want to discuss in the meeting on the initial call. Pull a bunch of data and study it. Take along a professional package to leave behind. And, prepare well in advance if at all possible. Once you prepare, you will often find additional ways to enhance your preparation as it stews in your mind prior to the big meeting. Go in 100%! It will impact your confidence!
A Sober Look
Confident people tend to look at what is right, not wrong. In what ways are you successful already? What are your greatest strengths and attributes? What have you overcome to get to where you are at this very moment? What are the key components that have made you feel confident in the past? What do you really have to lose?
Perhaps you have new awareness around confidence as I did not so long ago. Confidence is one of the Core Disciplines we can work on together through study, training, and one on one coaching.
What are three things that will help you be more confident as you approach a new client or opportunity?
Your Coach,
Todd